Curiosity:  The Essential Parenting Tool

Screaming, crying, thrashing... I hate you!  We have all been there.  Heightened parenting moments can feel all consuming.  Yet, there is an essential parenting tool that can turn the tables- curiosity.  

Why is my child acting this way?  Are they tired?  Hungry?  Have I escalated this situation?  Is there a skill they need help developing?

There is always a "why" under behavior.  Exploring the "why" can help parents understand how to de-escalate tense situations and set kids up for success.  

For example, ending tablet time is a battle for many families.   Yet, in many cases, children have not yet developed the impulse control and regulation needed to transition out of a preferred activity.  It's essential to hold firm boundaries, while setting our kids up for success.  This may include setting visual timers, coaching the child for the transition before starting tablet time, or ensuring that we are staying regulated.  Being curious about the "why" behind behaviors is essential for supporting our kids in developing important skills.  

Curiosity is a tool that supports us in regulating during tense situations.  It helps us take a step back, regroup, and look at the situation as a whole.  In many cases, children communicate their needs through behaviors.  This can help us better understand how to set our kids up for success, while taking care of ourselves in tough situations.